Posts by Coffee House Girl

17

Unbelievable! Two prayers and encouraging words in the last two days

by TotallyADD in

jw
friends

on friday morning i got a phone call from someone who was interested in buying a utility trailer i had for sale.

the man came over and looked at it and ended up buying it.

i invited him inside our home to fill out the paper work.

Coffee House Girl

You must let us know if you & Reopened decide to try another church....I do not have the balls to walk into another church yet-

Like you, being a born-in I am very fearful of walking into another church...its not like now I think demons are hiding in the rafters or anything....but the thought makes me feel very uneasy.

Coffee Shop Guy goes to a nondenominational & has been very happy there for some time, it is true that many religious people are not pushy about their faith- if they are happy in their particular religious community they are happy to talk about it if you ask...but my experience attending a "christian university" tells me that most all christians believe that every individual is on their own journey...and they have to make their own decisions about God, faith, and church- the "world" is not judgemental, and most wish you peace and hope you find your own way on that path...

I hope you take your time, do your research, and do what is comfortable for you...you don't have to be in a hurry (its not like armageddon is coming soon)

I am also glad you are finding friends on the outside....I know that is hardest for me too

Thanks for the experience,

CHG

9

Eff my JW (former) family and freinds... Eff em all

by AZheat in

jw
friends

i am sitting here writing this posting as a way of venting for all the frustration that i have been building up over the years of slavery to this beast called the wbts... i was a born in, and was denied all the normal things in life, i always felt left out as a kid, and even as a young adult.

i was the only jw for most if not all of my school years, i was harrased, mocked, teased, and even pushed around, because i was taught to stand up for what i beleive in.

th problem was, i didnt beleive it, i always felt there was something not right about the org.

Coffee House Girl

It is true that since we were "born-in" to JW craziness...we know the reasons behind why they shun us....we lived in inside the organization- hearing that shunning had to be done to show love-

we know that in their misguided minds, they think they are loving us...but when we leave the org knowing what will happen...it still hurts when family/friends treat us like we are dead-

I am going through the anger too- I am sorry this is happening to you...I chant with you "fu*k em all"

CHG

37

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all jwn .

so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

Coffee House Girl

Again thank you everyone for sympathizing with me and validating my feelings- now out of the control of WT doctrine we all must face death sometime...the death of those we love dearly and our own someday- I write my feelings for myself, and a part of me writes it for others who must face these things too

I will print these responces out and put them in my journal, it will be helpful to refer to them in the future

SBC- I am also sorry for your loss, I know relations with your family have been hard over the past year...I can relate and I also wish for you to have peace and time to grieve

CHG

18

Why do exJW family members not reach out to other exJW family members?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

i don't know if this strange phenomenon is unique to my family but it seems that those who have left the truth have little to no interest in reaching out to those family members who have also left the religion.. it seems topsy turvy to me.

surely, there would be common ground and mutual support for those leaving/have left but this does not seem to be the case.. does anyone else have this problem?.

Coffee House Girl

Connecting with other exJW's I knew personally fills me with anxiety because I do not know (as LeavingWT put into categories) if I'm going to talk to the exJW who is mentally out like me...or an apologist who still believes in the "truth" and will rat me out to get back into good graces with their JW family (elders on a committee to reinstate).

I recently friended a exJW (DF'd for 10yrs or so) on facebook- she was from my old cong. but I thought it was okay since it looked like she "moved on" with her life-

A few months later now she is sending me messages that she is going back for family & will quit going to meetings once she is reinstated (she said she doesn't believe in the "truth", but is trying to prove to parents that forgiveness in JWland comes from men and not God)....now I am ready to sh*t my pants because she knows details about me-

I agree it is much easier to talk to exJW's that you have never met before & take it slowly on giving of personal information

CHG

37

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all jwn .

so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

Coffee House Girl

Thank you everyone for your well wishes, they made me smile this morning- this is the first morning I havent cried since this all happened....things are slowly getting better I know I still have a process to go thru...but all your love and genuine support is appreciated

Oct Prince- loved your poem....made me laugh, you r clever

How is my brother doing Discreetslave asks? Thanks for asking, he seems to be doing better also- He left the "truth" when I was about 5 or 6...so he has been out of it much longer than I. He didn't remember what JW funerals were like, as soon as we got out of the door he said "it was nothing but a f*cking sunday sermon!"

Have a great monday JWN

CHG

37

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all jwn .

so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

Coffee House Girl

LV101 & NC: Thank you for your well wishes and telling me to take time to grieve and rest- that is really the best comfort to me now :)

TotallyADD & Reopened: My thoughts are also with you both now having read more about your stories...I am sad for both of you, yet happy you are here on JWN to help people like me get through this: your story does help- thank you for sharing it

CHG

37

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all jwn .

so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

Coffee House Girl

Man in Black,

here is the poem...I looked thru dad's books that he read- this came from a book he had since 1952 (& it was signed by the original author)

What did the JW's find offensive??? it was the reference to Whiskey and "not dying" (WTF)

Oh, I would not die in winter

When whiskey punches flow,

And the pretty girls are skating

O’er the fields of ice and snow;

When the sassige nuts are thick,

Oh who would think of dying,

Or even being sick?

I would not die in the springtime,

And miss the turnip greens,

And the pretty song of the little frogs,

And the skylark’s early screams;

When the little birds are warbling,

And the ‘taters’ gin to sprout,

And the turkeys all are gobbling-

Oh who would then peg out?

I would not die in summer,

And leave the garden sass,

The roast lamb and the buttermilk,

And the cool place in the grass;

I would not die in summer,

When everything’s so hot,

And leave the Whiskley juleps-

Oh no! I’d rather not!

I would not die in autumn,

With peaches fit for eating,

When wavy corn is getting ripe,

And candidates are treating;

For these and other reasons

I’d not die in the fall,

And since I’ve thought it over,

I would not die at all!

37

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all jwn .

so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

Coffee House Girl

Thank you cult classic! appreciate your sympathies

Blondie- no I am not DF'd, but I suspect that after I sent the cease and desist letter (a copy did go to my bro-in-law who is COBOE)- they did put in a warning that I was dangerous and I've heard the expression before by JWs "they may as well be DF'd even tho it is not official". My mom did tell me that the elders have talked to her about stopping association with me

Shamus- Ah I feel the love and the hot breath of monkey kisses... back at ya babe

Shirley- Yea...I am suprised I didn't get a "come back to Jah so you can see him in paradise"- I would've shot back with a...well according to JW doctrine a man who did not give field service time to the org & was smoking wouldn't be resurrected so I guess I wont worry bout it-

Quendi- ah thank you for your voice of reason, death is never easy for those left behind, and I know with time present wounds will heal- and Dad would want me to move on with my plans- he told me not long before he passed that he could sleep now with a smile on his face knowing I was happy....aah thats the way a parent is supposed to feel-

CHG

37

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all jwn .

so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

Coffee House Girl

Hello all JWN

So glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the KH after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "Jehovah's House"). I must say that now I'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than I remember)- I got the nervous stares and shaky "Hi" when I looked at all of them and said hello.

My mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...I went and sat by her side. The service began with the usual 5 minute introduction & 20 min sermon complete with invitation to "come see any JW if you want to learn more". I wanted so bad to ask my nonJW relatives what they thought-

The speaker was a brother who is my age (30's), and never really had a conversation with my dad ever in his life- when he spoke about the resurrection, he said that "these are the thoughts that my father entertained"- I tried not to laugh at that one...knowing how dad felt, I'm sure he found JW doctrine "entertaining" to say the least!

When it got to the end we were invited to stand and sing "Life without end at last"- I looked down at my program- I put a picture of dad inside of the program next to the song...he rarely smiled so this was a pic of his usual stern face- he was looking back at me thru the picture as if to say..."what the hell are all these a-holes doing here???" I also had to fight back the giggles....I'm sure the speaker looked at me puzzed wondering why I had that scary smile/half laugh on my face.

It was done, and everyone piled out of the KH to get to the food....my mom thanked me for comming and said I didn't have to go to the dinner if it made me uncomfortable (which really meant..."you will make everyone uncomfortable, and make them feel like they cannot eat with you because of scriptural decree)- so I took the hint and told her that I wanted to take my dog for a walk. My brother and I left together. My sister, brother in law, nieces, cousins never said one word to me- (I did have one aunt give me a hug, and I talked to my non-JW relatives..but that was really it)

So now that is done & I can go back to grieving my dad in a somewhat normal way- I already miss him, saturday was the first week without seeing him (I would go home every saturday to see mom and dad, and walk the dog)

I plan on inscribing the poem that the JWs made me take off the back of the program because they found it offensive onto a piece of wood and placing it next to his headstone....I will get my way, I will represent him the best I can, and all the JW's can just fu*k themselves if they can't take a joke-

Thanks for your help all!

CHG

49

Anyone wanna place a bet on what will happen to me when I have to go to the Kingdom Hall this Saturday??

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

well since there is no "betting" (as it reeks of gambling) in jdub land, lets place a friendly wager on what will happen to me when i go to my father's "memorial" service at the kingdome hall this saturday..... to give you newbies background info: i am neither df'd or da'd- i left 2 years ago with no explanation.

i have been hounded by elders in my cong because they have suspicions that i am living with a man, but they have no proof (well, no proof in jdub land- you know...two witness rule).

after many attempts to get me to meet with them- i finally sent the elders a "cease & desist" letter after one of them spied in my miniblinds to see me eating breakfast with someone (they couldn't identify who).

Coffee House Girl

NVR2L8- thanks for the update! I'm sure you were relieved to not have to face that - sometimes it is better to stand your ground and not give the dubbies false hope-

I'm so glad to have my ordeal done...I got the shun- but that was okay by me...I skipped out on the meal afterward since I knew the dubbies would be very uncomfortable with the dilema of having to eat with a "wrongdoer" such as me..so I made it easier on them and skipped out!

Ahhh....now I can try to grieve like a "normal" person-

Thanks everyone for your concern & sympathies...they really did help me :)

CHG